Dowry

1961 the Anti Dowry act was passed. It was expected that this will eliminate the obnoxious tradition of giving and taken dowry. It has been 64 years since this act has been passed and it has failed to deter people.

Yes there is a section of population which probably does not indulge in it due to the fear of the law, the rest who do not indulge in this is purely because of the fact that they realise it is not right to ask or give dowry.

Fear of law only achieves the goals to a certain extent. Unless this is followed up with the education and where required reward for following the law it is unlikely to have a big impact.

Unfortunately it is the females who continue to be the perpetrators of this system. Not that the males are not, but the females are complicit in this crime and many times are the ones who make the demand and keep torturing the bride for not have brought “enough” dowry.

The year was 2019. Sakshi Gupta was finishing her post graduation in electronics VLSI technology.  Her parents were delighted to have found a groom for her. The groom was from a decent family in Ambala and were fairly well off. Her parents found the groom and his family decent enough and they acceded to all the requests of the boy’s family. This include a fridge, car, enough gold for the bride, a lavish wedding in Ambala. Sakshi Gupta’s parents spent close to a crore for the wedding.

The bride and groom shifted to Gurugram where the Sakshi’s parents again paid the majority of the portion of a flat bought for the bride and groom.

Everything seemed fine. The young couple had a daughter even as Sakshi finished her post graduation and enrolled for her doctorate. Then things started changing. She was first forced to call off her plans to get a doctorate. The man started getting inferiority complex being married to someone who was more educated than himself. She started working and somewhere things broke down and things did not stop with verbal abuse. The man started beating Sakshi and this was an “educated” person from a decent background who was doing this. He was not attached to their daughter either.

Finally unable to bear the physical and mental torture from her husband Sakshi moved back to her parent’s place with her daughter. They then filed for a divorce stating incompatibility. The boy’s family agreed to settle for an amount (think no alimony but money paid by the woman) and then at the last minute they jacked up the amount and also wanted the flat in Gurugram transferred on the man’s name. They were least bothered about the little girl that was the result of the marriage.

Finally Sakshi’s parents approached a police office who was known to them. He asked them to file a case of domestic violence stating that things are unlikely to move without this. With great reluctance they filed this. The man’s family filed a counter “mental harassment” against them at Ambala.

It took more than two years for the divorce to be settled with a lot of compromise from Sakshi and her family. She now stays with her parents along with her daughter.

This is not fiction but a true story (name of the lady has been changed). This is the state of affairs in our country 64+ years after anti-dowry act was passed. One wonders where did the law makers go wrong. It appears that law can only do so much. With the executive (both the police and the judiciary) being corrupt one cannot hope for justice and even before that what is our education system doing?

While we can fault the Macaulay education for many of the ills, this cannot be attributed to Macaulay’s education system. It is a fault in our society. We have to take the right steps to correct it. One definite step is to change our education system to truly “educate” and inculcate in our children “equality” and “empathy”, true Vasudeiva Kutumbam, not the one that is being touted about by our politicians. If we can do that and bring in universal education then we can hope to eradicate these ills in our society over a few generations.

The question that arises is who will bell the cat?