Have been wondering as to how lucky I have been in life. Everything has come my way even though I have not gone in search of it. I have had so much support in life all along (Sometimes I think have I used them/am using them or have they helped me/are helping me?)
God has cushioned every major change/event in my life. Be it my moving out of my home to go to study, or living to learn myself when I was sent and when I went out of the country on my own, or when I had a child.
Either the groundwork has been prepared for the change or the change was slow enough for me to adapt to the new situation/scenario.
The only thing where I did not understand that I had been prepared for it and lost the game has been my marriage. God had prepared me for marriage by bringing across my path books of Ramana Maharishi and J.Krishnamurthi.
Both the leaders taught how one should think to live. Even after reading them extensively, I was a failure in implementing my understanding (Krishnamurthi will turn in his grave if he reads this as he says do not follow me as I am not a teacher). Reacted badly to the situation instead of remaining calm and composed and that still has repurcussions. Don't know if it is ever going to be corrected.
Never learnt to observe oneself.
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